Urban Sense
I was going to write today about the moron I was partnered with when I started kung-fu this week but a broader topic has presented itself, urban sense.
Urban sense is the common sense needed to navigate through a day in a populated area with out getting slapped. In this entry I will outline a few of the common areas where people seem to lack urban sense. Surprisingly the majority of acts of stupidity occur while in transit but that may be because most time spent in public is while commuting.
Mass Transport
Mass public transport systems seem to attract the worst kind of behaviour. Studies show that when we are placed in close proximity to strangers we de-humanize them as a way of coping with the invasion of our personal space. Unfortunately this leads us to behave as if we are alone. Certainly picking your nose and farting may be a breach in etiquette but they do not breach the laws of urban sense (unless the curry you had last night brewed a particularly nasty one). The worst of all offences occur while boarding and alighting.
For some reason, usually at peak hour, there is a phobia that you will miss the train if you don't get onboard first. This leads to crowding around the entrance, sometimes pushing up against the doors and storming through the moment there is a large enough gap. Unfortunately people are also trying to alight and it is made rather difficult when you have to exit in single file between surging masses of suits and skirts.
Urban Sense Rule 1: When boarding a vehicle leave enough room for people to alight. This will allow them to exit quickly and thus allow you to enter sooner.
The other occurrence which brings out the slap happy side of me is when a small group will board the train, after pushing past all the exiting commuters, and stop right at the entrance. If you do this with me behind be prepared to be pushed out of the way and no in the polite tap-on-the-shoulder excuse me kinda way, think more Bruce Lee one inch punch.
Urban Sense Rule 2: When in public thoroughfare don not stop, ever, where it will block the flow of traffic or be prepared to be swept away like a cripple in the running of the bulls.
Shopping Centres
In particular escalators are a hotspot for stupidity. Lets reason this out, when you are on an escalator you are on a set of moving stairs where the only exit is at the end, with no room to manoeuvre. So when you reach the top of an escalator, travelator or anything which encourages laziness, don't stop at the very top and discuss which shops on that level you want to annoy staff in. Please refer to USR2.
When traversing said shopping centres try to suppress your urge to have all of your closest friends next to you. There may not be any leaders of followers in your group but that is not an excuse for pissing everyone off by walking sixteen abreast and allowing no one to pass.
Urban Sense Rule 3: Always allow room for people to move around you. Not everyone walks at the speed of a fly without wings.
For all the mum's, dad's and grandparents be aware that not everyone is tolerant of your beaut new, 4x4, double decker pram. So when you stop to chat with another set of hapless procreators and turn the prams across the path so the kiddies can gurgle at each other, don't think that our instinct to protect the young will stop me from throwing the pram over the rail to the centre court five stories below. Refer to USR3.
Summary
To sum it all up in one great golden rule for urban sense (OGGRfUS): Don't get in my way.
Urban sense is the common sense needed to navigate through a day in a populated area with out getting slapped. In this entry I will outline a few of the common areas where people seem to lack urban sense. Surprisingly the majority of acts of stupidity occur while in transit but that may be because most time spent in public is while commuting.
Mass Transport
Mass public transport systems seem to attract the worst kind of behaviour. Studies show that when we are placed in close proximity to strangers we de-humanize them as a way of coping with the invasion of our personal space. Unfortunately this leads us to behave as if we are alone. Certainly picking your nose and farting may be a breach in etiquette but they do not breach the laws of urban sense (unless the curry you had last night brewed a particularly nasty one). The worst of all offences occur while boarding and alighting.
For some reason, usually at peak hour, there is a phobia that you will miss the train if you don't get onboard first. This leads to crowding around the entrance, sometimes pushing up against the doors and storming through the moment there is a large enough gap. Unfortunately people are also trying to alight and it is made rather difficult when you have to exit in single file between surging masses of suits and skirts.
Urban Sense Rule 1: When boarding a vehicle leave enough room for people to alight. This will allow them to exit quickly and thus allow you to enter sooner.
The other occurrence which brings out the slap happy side of me is when a small group will board the train, after pushing past all the exiting commuters, and stop right at the entrance. If you do this with me behind be prepared to be pushed out of the way and no in the polite tap-on-the-shoulder excuse me kinda way, think more Bruce Lee one inch punch.
Urban Sense Rule 2: When in public thoroughfare don not stop, ever, where it will block the flow of traffic or be prepared to be swept away like a cripple in the running of the bulls.
Shopping Centres
In particular escalators are a hotspot for stupidity. Lets reason this out, when you are on an escalator you are on a set of moving stairs where the only exit is at the end, with no room to manoeuvre. So when you reach the top of an escalator, travelator or anything which encourages laziness, don't stop at the very top and discuss which shops on that level you want to annoy staff in. Please refer to USR2.
When traversing said shopping centres try to suppress your urge to have all of your closest friends next to you. There may not be any leaders of followers in your group but that is not an excuse for pissing everyone off by walking sixteen abreast and allowing no one to pass.
Urban Sense Rule 3: Always allow room for people to move around you. Not everyone walks at the speed of a fly without wings.
For all the mum's, dad's and grandparents be aware that not everyone is tolerant of your beaut new, 4x4, double decker pram. So when you stop to chat with another set of hapless procreators and turn the prams across the path so the kiddies can gurgle at each other, don't think that our instinct to protect the young will stop me from throwing the pram over the rail to the centre court five stories below. Refer to USR3.
Summary
To sum it all up in one great golden rule for urban sense (OGGRfUS): Don't get in my way.
posted by Wax at 3:14 PM
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